I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
