you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
