I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
