They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
