Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Randomize
