Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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