he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think my vagina is haunted
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
