my room smells like sperm. sweet.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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