Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
