I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize