life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
