Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
