Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
