She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
