Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
