some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
