last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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