I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
