hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
