You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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