physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
