omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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