I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
