Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize