on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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