Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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