Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
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She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
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I'm just crazy horny about you
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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