a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
