Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize