There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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