can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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