So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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