You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
