I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
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i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
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He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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