make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
why is half of my head shaved?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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