Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
