He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
It's shark week go big or go home
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
