you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
