ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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