Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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