Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(925): View more from California

I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.

(713): View more from Texas

Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...

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(925): I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night. (713): Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry... http://tfl.nu/w6q1

Replies (36) Good night (3727) Bad night (704)
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(812): View more from Indiana

My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

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(812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94

Replies (236) Good night (65752) Bad night (2765)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest

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(519): He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest http://tfl.nu/yyal

Replies (47) Good night (1471) Bad night (5721)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction

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(604): I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction http://tfl.nu/piq1

Replies (19) Good night (5307) Bad night (729)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.

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(330): I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included. http://tfl.nu/hd7g

Replies (32) Good night (6449) Bad night (777)
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(240): View more from Maryland

were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?

(301): View more from Maryland

yes! wait why?

(240): View more from Maryland

because i found it in my pocket this morning...

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(240): were you wearing a green and blue thong last night? (301): yes! wait why? (240): because i found it in my pocket this morning... http://tfl.nu/rs9c

Replies (39) Good night (11405) Bad night (823)
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(419): View more from Ohio

Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico

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(419): Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico http://tfl.nu/934w

Replies (18) Good night (7271) Bad night (1050)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.

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(321): I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free. http://tfl.nu/5dnh

Replies (17) Good night (3615) Bad night (1388)
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(904): View more from Florida

way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...

(1-904): View more from Florida

I saved lives by not driving this morning

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(904): way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy... (1-904): I saved lives by not driving this morning http://tfl.nu/no2s

Replies (9) Good night (7988) Bad night (916)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?

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(217): Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up? http://tfl.nu/08g9

Replies (7) Good night (4416) Bad night (744)
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(773): View more from Illinois

Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)

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(773): Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:) http://tfl.nu/gxuq

Replies (2) Good night (1363) Bad night (421)
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(916): View more from California

The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.

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(916): The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu. http://tfl.nu/i9o3

Replies (3) Good night (1596) Bad night (381)
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(613): View more from Ontario

he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents

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(613): he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents http://tfl.nu/5ltr

Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (705)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.

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(701): I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close. http://tfl.nu/zatr

Replies (2) Good night (450) Bad night (486)
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(585): View more from New York

Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit

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(585): Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit http://tfl.nu/5lf7

Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (221)

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