his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
