sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am puke
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!