Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

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  (310): This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder http://tfl.nu/q5de
  Replies (4) Good night (881) Bad night (1694)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC

  (831): View more from California

  Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.

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  (661): Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC (831): Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown. http://tfl.nu/up2g
  Replies (43) Good night (10244) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?

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  (302): is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture? http://tfl.nu/hrqs
  Replies (4) Good night (1519) Bad night (3896)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!

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  (202): Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER! http://tfl.nu/jion
  Replies (30) Good night (5018) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.

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  (402): From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own. http://tfl.nu/wlot
  Replies (4) Good night (2086) Bad night (1498)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.

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  (816): I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen. http://tfl.nu/atwf
  Replies (10) Good night (3193) Bad night (1167)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.

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  (417): If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug. http://tfl.nu/ibns
  Replies (6) Good night (2373) Bad night (855)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?

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  (401): do you think she knows her nickname is brickface? http://tfl.nu/y8t9
  Replies (10) Good night (702) Bad night (1732)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.

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  (239): I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life. http://tfl.nu/rpst
  Replies (1) Good night (1292) Bad night (705)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity

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  (240): Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity http://tfl.nu/y6wz
  Replies (4) Good night (1150) Bad night (762)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've fallen from my one moral pedestal

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  (865): I've fallen from my one moral pedestal http://tfl.nu/rkax
  Replies (3) Good night (650) Bad night (902)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea

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  (609): I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea http://tfl.nu/yi5k
  Replies (2) Good night (421) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's

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  (757): My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's http://tfl.nu/2yaw
  Replies (2) Good night (455) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.

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  (513): he just exposed your dildo usage to the table. http://tfl.nu/zocu
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.

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  (757): You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast. http://tfl.nu/zvdo
  Replies (2) Good night (848) Bad night (231)

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