matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
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Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.