Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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