you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
