i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
