Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
