He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
