he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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