Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
