I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
