I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
