I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
