yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
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i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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