I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
40s are totally the cure
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize