the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
