You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
