Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize