Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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