I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
