Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
