Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You left your underwear on the fireplace
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
