He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
