in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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