why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
