making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
