me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
