i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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