Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
