its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
