We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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