time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
